This is how you find yourself. Have you ever read a book that you felt was a wake up call to your soul? Each page like a little nudge, and by the end you are hearing alarms, loud bangs, and someone in your head is screaming, "WAKE UP!" A book that finally explains that nagging, little feeling of disenchantment you've been experiencing your entire life? A book that made you want to call every woman you know, tell them to drop what they are doing, and read it immediately? Well, this is that book! Don't get me wrong, I have read numerous books that spoke to me and inspired me before, but not like this. I've found myself trying to fit pieces of this book into everyday conversations. I want everyone to know what I now know. This is important.
There is a running analogy throughout the book about a cheetah she observes while on a family outing at the zoo, that was born into captivity. A little girl asks the zookeeper if the cheetah is sad and misses the wild. The zookeeper smiled and said, “No. Tabitha was born here. She doesn’t know any different. She’s never even seen the wild. This is a good life for Tabitha. She’s much safer here than she would be out in the wild.” Once the cheetah is out of the spotlight, Glennon and her daughter noticed that her posture had changed, and she was stalking the periphery of the cage, as if by instinct. It was like she remembered something. Glennon writes, "I wished I could ask her, 'What’s happening inside you right now?' I knew what she’d tell me. She’d say, 'Something’s off about my life. I feel restless and frustrated. I have this hunch that everything was supposed to be more beautiful than this. I imagine fenceless, wide-open savannas. I want to run and hunt and kill. I want to sleep under an ink-black, silent sky filled with stars. It’s all so real I can taste it.' Then she’d look back at the cage, the only home she’s ever known. She’d look at the smiling zookeepers, the bored spectators, and her panting, bouncing, begging best friend, the Lab. She’d sigh and say, 'I should be grateful. I have a good enough life here. It’s crazy to long for what doesn’t even exist.' I’d say: Tabitha. You are not crazy. You are a goddamn cheetah."
Goosebumps. In case you didn't know...YOU ARE THE CHEETAH.
The book is organized into 3 parts: Caged, Keys, and Free. It is filled with anecdotes about her world in captivity, and her cages that she always accepted, because, "that's life." Even though you, the reader, didn't have that exact experience, you begin to recall similar cages that you have been living in as well. These stories are about addiction, motherhood, family, marriage to a man she no longer loved, then marriage to her true love, and most of all, they are about recognizing your cages and conjuring the bravery to free yourself.
She hits us with the sad truth of it all in the first chapter when she is questioning where her spark went and how she lost herself:
"I’ve done my research and learned this: Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and real boys. Ten is when children begin to hide who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be. Right around ten is when we begin to internalize our formal taming. Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages:
These are the feelings you are allowed to express.
This is how a woman should act.
This is the body you must strive for.
These are the things you will believe.
These are the people you can love.
Those are the people you should fear.
This is the kind of life you are supposed to want.
Make yourself fit. You’ll be uncomfortable at first, but don’t worry—eventually you’ll forget you’re caged. Soon this will just feel like: life."
When you read this, you thought, YES! EXACTLY! Right? This is where you get hooked. Very early in the game.
Then she gives us some tools and inspiration in the second part.
"Then I built a life of my own. I did it by resurrecting the very parts of myself I was trained to mistrust, hide, and abandon in order to keep others comfortable:
My emotions
My intuition
My imagination
My courage
Those are the keys to freedom. Those are who we are. Will we be brave enough to unlock ourselves? Will we be brave enough to set ourselves free? Will we finally step out of our cages and say to ourselves, to our people, and to the world: Here I Am."
And then, the big exhale...
"Since I got sober, I have never been fine again, not for a single moment. I have been exhausted and terrified and angry. I have been overwhelmed and underwhelmed and debilitatingly depressed and anxious. I have been amazed and awed and delighted and overjoyed to bursting. I have been reminded, constantly, by the Ache: This will pass; stay close. I have been alive."
I have highlighted so many passages in this book, that practically the whole thing is yellow. Among so many other things, she talks a lot about sobriety, which really resonates with me. She says, "sobriety was the field in which I began to remember my wild." I felt that. She talks a lot about motherhood as well, which does not resonate with me; but, I have a mother and know some mothers that I love dearly, who I now empathize with a little more. She talks a lot about love and family, and everything in this book is about living your best life. No matter your experience, you will find something that speaks to you and creates a spark. If you haven't already, please read this book! I beg of you! It will awaken your soul.
Get your copy HERE.
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